Kagome's Sorrow

When I looked at him as he sat facing away from me, my heart sank and my mouth went dry. I had the sudden urge to touch him, run my fingers through his hair and kiss his hands. My eyes stung and grew hot, as my face felt the same. I felt as if I was going to cry.  I remembered our past and I couldn’t understand why I felt this way. I thought I was supposed to hate him, but I can’t. He’d been such a jerk lately, leaving when I came, ignored me when I spoke. He was too preoccupied with his own life, which I no longer belonged to.
“Damn you InuYasha!” I cursed to myself.
I ran for as long as I could away from him. I finally stopped to wonder if I was being selfish, that it would be up to him if he wanted to be with me.
I purposely stepped on a patch pf grass, crushing it with my foot. I felt so powerful taking the life of whatever insect dwelled in that spot. Then I stopped again. My eyes swelled with tears.
“What am I doing?”
A large droplet fell from my socket onto my skirt, staining it a darker green.
“It is not his fault it ended this way… Or is it… He’s the one to act childish…”
I looked down at the faded spot on my skirt. Then I collapsed, resting on my palms and knees. I scraped up the dirt into my fists as more tears fell from my eyes onto the dirt.
“Why… why must my heart ache for such a man, the man that bids me suffering. Does he not know what he is doing, or does he amuse himself with my pain… InuYasha, do you love me or not?”
I soon felt the pain in my stomach and knees; I could feel the dirt under my fingernails. I didn’t know how long I had been there, but the sky was now a greenish grey and the wind was cold, and the trees were whistling a morbid tone.
I rose and settled back down, sitting upon my ankles; I placed my hands on my thighs, much like a traditional geisha would sit in a man’s company. I sat still, there in the dirt, my face still stained with tears. I heaved in a breath and fixated my eyes upon a tree. It reminded me of the old Goshinboku tree that he was pinned to so long ago. This tree wasn’t as old, but the bark was worn and peeling. I stood and walked towards the young tree. I brushed my palm against it and felt the scratch of its outer texture. I don’t know why I did what I did, but I embraced the tree and began to sob uncontrollably. I remember sliding down the bark and that I hadn’t realized that I had scratched my face up somewhat badly, until later. But I held there, clinging to that tree for dear life.
The sky began to weep with me as the last light drew back into a clouds. It mourned for me.
“Will I ever be freed from this excruciating pain?” I asked looking up to the sky and I could feel the rain on my face.
Soon, my tears blended with the rain and it seemed the sorrow was doused.
I sniffled as I turned to rest my back against the tree. What an awful day this was turning out to be. First failing my practice exams, my sole of my shoe falling out and now… now my heart is broken. I signed taking my shins in my hands and tucking myself up against the tree.
“Well, at least they won’t be able to find me… InuYasha won’t be ably to smell my scent, with all this fresh earth washed up by the rain…
I tucked my face behind my knees as I rested my forehead on the remaining space.